It has taken a lot of ‘pushing through’ to get these words down, as re-living the hurt, the anger, the frustration and the deep sense of rejection is something I would have preferred not to have to do.

I will make every effort ‘not to quote Scripture’ in this blog, as far too often in my experience portions of Scripture have been used ‘out of context’ in order to justify a persons behaviour or their actions, good and bad.

The hope in sharing this story with others, is that some of the things that happened to me, continue to happen and by shedding light’ on the situation, there may be a day when ‘enough is said’ and that YWAM would see it as vitally important to ’set things right’ with all the ‘wounded’. Then to balance ‘the account’ by implementing strategies, systems, etc. to ensure that these things no longer occur, in the future.

This I believe, is not an unreasonable hope…

MY STORY – Chapter One – “Circling the Bait”                          

HOW IT ALL BEGAN…

I first learnt of YWAM, when I was on a Short Term Mission outreach (with my church) to Phnom Penh, Cambodia in January 1996.

The Leader of the team and the assistant leader had both completed a DTS, in the UK and Canada, respectively. Their DTS’s were awesome and they both looked back on their 6 months with YWAM favourably, so much so that they suggested that a DTS with YWAM would be a great place for me.

A BIT OF BACKGROUND…

I had resigned from the Navy in July 1995 and had been working as a Taxi Driver (filling in time, until I discovered just what it was God wanted me to pursue, post Navy). My hearts desire was to serve in Ministry, just what – had yet to be worked out. Taxi Driving kept me busy and opened up my world to a huge variety of experiences and to a desperately hurting world.

I thoroughly enjoyed the mission trip to Cambodia, despite early misgivings about the “mission field”, as I had grown up in Indonesia, where my parents served as missionaries for 18 years.

Upon returning home, in February 1996, I searched out the nearest YWAM centre (Base) to my home, with the purpose of purchasing a “Go Manual”.  A Go Manual was a book (published annually) advertising schools and opportunities (voluntary) YWAM had to offer globally.

DISCIPLESHIP TRAINING SCHOOL – February 1996…

To my surprise the advertised January DTS, had been postponed until the 11th of February 1996, and there I was standing in the reception area of YWAM (withheld) on ’start day’ of the DTS. (Incredible timing, had to be a God thing!)

A week later, having encountered significant resistance from my parents who held reservations about my choice of YWAM, my application to join the DTS was accepted, and I joined 11 other students on our journey of “Knowing God and Making Him Known”.

THE DTS…

All in all my DTSwas a good time of fellowship with like minded others. In those days YWAM embraced all Christian Denominations (there were even Catholics and Messianic Jews) and it was okay for individuals to serve and worship God in the way they were brought up or in the way they wished to. 

*My most recent encounter with YWAM, it had become very much more Charismatic in its flavour, and to not embrace that style of worship, etc. was to be a ‘rebel’.

The atmosphere at the Base was vibrant with 100’s of young people, lots of families with young children (a primary school operated on the Base, for the children). Kings Kids, Puppet & Drama Teams, House of Prayer, Impact World Crusades, School of Evangelism, three DTS’s per year. The place was buzzing!

It was an exciting place to be, there was always something happening. The Base was actively serving and supporting many local churches, other mission agencies and visiting schools with their outreach programs. There were opportunities to serve in areas around the Base and/or come up with something new and untried, was welcomed and encouraged.

OUTREACH…

The ‘outreach phase’ of my DTS was to the nation of Fiji, which was jam packed with ministry opportunities in many schools and a number of churches.

POST DTS…

Upon returning to Base for the ‘wrap up week’ of the DTS, our DTS Leader put this question to ‘us pumped up, graduating YWAMers’. “Now that you have completed your DTS, you have seen God provide, seen Him touch the lives of others… Do you think that you could possibly ‘backslide’ and turn away from God?”

We were all horrified, not that the question was asked… more that such a thing could possibly ever happen.

In reflection, this question so wisely, asked by my DTS Leader way back then, has held me ‘on the road’ through some really tough times, particularly the tough times while in YWAM and now that I have been “WHAMMED yet again”.

The DTS was over, and I was asked to consider joining YWAM as a ’staff member’ on the September 1996 DTS.

ON STAFF…

I was now a fully fledged YWAMer. The lead up to the September DTS was filled with preparing (mainly painting) the lecture room and student accommodation for the 26 students and staff that would be joining us.

I could not have been more content and happy. Life was great, I enjoyed what I was doing, my work and contribution around the centre was appreciated and each day brought with it, new challenges to embrace.  God and me, were never more intimate.

SEPTEMBER 1996 DTS…

It was fabulous, the School Leader was very pastoral and the students and staff blended well. It was a safe place to be, no matter who you were, where you came from, and who you wanted to be.

The school was divided into two teams, one would outreach to Africa and the other would ’spy out the land’ for a new YWAM centre in India. I was one of the ’spys’.

Unfortunately, my time in India was ‘an intense weight loss program’ with gastric type ailments during our entire stay, so aside from getting a lot of reading done, my exposure to outreach was quite limited.

EASTER 1997…

At Easter time in 1997, the first phase of my YWAM time, concluded as I relocated to another state in readiness for my upcoming Wedding in September of that year.

YWAM – DIFFERENT PLACE…

In the lead up to our wedding, finding paid employment proved to be quite a challenge. So, we decided that until the wedding, I would move 2 Hours east of where we were living and ‘help out’ at another YWAM base.

Day one, I started as ‘the gardner’, by day two I had been promoted to a position as the ‘personal assistant’ to the Director of that base. I am quite a detailed type of person, so a role with a lot of ‘administration’ really felt like the right fit for me.

This YWAM centre had a lot less personnel, it had different ministry focus’s, but it had the same feel as the larger base I had already been associated with.

*One aspect of this YWAM base that stood out was a program they called a ‘BLS’ – Basic Leadership School. Everyone was on, had completed, or was going to do a BLS. A component of a BLS was, that successful completion would mean that all participants regardless of how suited or not suited – would be required to ’staff’ a DTS.  Scary, Scary stuff…

Firstly, we are NOT all called / or meant to be leaders. Secondly, leading others when you are not a leader / or ever should be a leader – just to qualify / get your name ticked off, removes the value, the relevance and the credibility of the school (BLS).

Shortly, before we were married, I left YWAM Different Place and relocated to the town my fiance was living in.  We married in September 1997.

BETWEEN PLACES…

For the next year upon returning from our Honeymoon, we busied ourselves with working two jobs each, in order to build up our savings. Our bank account was empty, what with the expenses of a wedding and honeymoon and for the fact that ‘working for YWAM’ is unpaid work (that is, a YWAMer is not paid, but they are required to pay staff fees).

* A YWAMer is dependent on financial assistance from friends / family or from their home church. More often than not, a YWAMer will spend all their savings in order to pay staff fees, and have no supporters.

I believe in excess of 75% of YWAMers would not have any significant ongoing financial support. I have seen YWAMers who cannot afford a tube of toothpaste “suffering for Jesus” – a familiar catch-cry!

Never-the-less, I still had the YWAM bug and my wife and I decided YWAM would be a great place for us to serve God with all the talents and gifts we had been blessed with, so we started to save up, so that my wife could do a DTS.

MY STORY – Chapter Two – “In Bed with the Philistines” 

Two significant events stand out as defining moments in the next Chapter of my YWAM story.  I believe that these two things were pivotal to taking YWAM down the track it now finds itself on. The choices that were made, brought YWAM to a place of ‘compromise’ and caused great damage to their ‘integrity’ where the ‘voice of God’ / ‘word of the Lord’, became a zealous leaders excuse for poor decision making.

Decisions were made to ‘take the easy / soft option’. Decisions that continue to rob YWAM of the “call” God has for YWAM (withheld). These decisions I would label as “getting in bed with the Philistines”.  

Coming Soon…

 

 MY STORY – Chapter Two – “In Bed with the Philistines”